I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
