glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
