you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
