I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
