I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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