If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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