i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize