hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
