Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
