I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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