i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
this is an emotional support booty call
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize