i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize