When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
