Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
