How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
