lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
