So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
