Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
