he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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