I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
