I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
