I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
