im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
