speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Dignity is for republicans.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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