and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
you had me at cake vodka
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
where are my eyebrows?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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