Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
