Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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