You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Buhtt sex?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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