"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
