She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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