The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
And then he peed in my hair
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