I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
the day after is always just damage control
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize