i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
