Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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