yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
