I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
