I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
