Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
