At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Someone shattered a urinal.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
