I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
