I feel like I'm in dance class right now
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
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