I wish I could punch you in the face.
Do you still have your period?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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