It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
