The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
