I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
