we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
