Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
