I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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