i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
