I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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