yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
