i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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