I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize