I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
