i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Less talking, more tequila
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
