Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Do vagina's smell?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize
