At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Randomize
