Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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