You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
