i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
