My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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