Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize