Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
