Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
