i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
