I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
