I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
